Blues for Lew from Laurel Canyon
Thoughts on
"Well, I'll be dipped in dog shit."
Loved the colloquialism. I couldn't help but wish Hank actually was, since that would likely mean our long lost Yusuf was around somewhere. Gosh, I still miss the pup. In case you all missed it, Matthew at the Cali Shoblog claims we're just not looking hard enough for him; claims he's there, hiding under the furniture. Phooey on that. Thanks for trying, Matt, but I ain't buying that any Moody dog could possibly be that shy or intimidated by the goings on. I like thinking he's still off making Subaru and maybe Pedigree commercials to supplement the Moody income better, so that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
But me, I'm dipped in dog shit in two ways. One way is kind of like how Hank meant it, as in 'hoo-fucking-ray! I am validated!' Me, I feel validated by an excellent eye-opening, hilarious, gut-wrenching episode, one of those miracles of a tightly-packed 27-and-a-half minutes these folks seem to excel at, just as Hank was thrilled by his good review. I was rocked by all the major holes blown in everyone's lives by what went down, except for, remarkably and notably so, Hank. Hank came out smelling like a rose, for a change, when practically everybody he knew around him had their lives thrown for a loop or ended all together.
Which brings me to the other way in which I meant how I feel dipped in dog shit; the bad way. You had no call to do that to me and my new next-to-next-to-favorite Cali character, Kapinos and Company. I reiterate my big ol' honkin' raspberry for that one. The rest of the episode was, however, stellar, indeed, so my esteem for you all still outweighs my complaint. But still... Boo! I'm still bitter. Sorry. I'd hoped the character would return occasionally, next season and in any subsequent ones, too, but that wish sure got dipped in dog shit, didn't it? :pouting:
And on with life, as all we living are meant to carry. Cute little opening scene, and a familiar one. A fully-dressed (this time) Mia's straddling a sleeping Hank, annoying him into waking up. This time, she's sing-songing to him, "Wakey, wakey! Eggs and bakey!" That does nothing, so she pops the bridge of his nose with her finger, to no response. Strike two. Next, she starts yelling like a nagging wife about getting the kids to school, and like magic, he wakes up. It was loud enough that I would have, too.
He asks her what she thinks she's doing, then before she can answer, he asks Mia if she's been fondling him. She asks if he feels fondled and he says, yeah, a little, then physically insists she get off the frequently-fondled packaged-in-black-boxer-briefs premises now. Too early for her 'shenanigans', per Hank. But not too early for 'this', "our review" in the Times. Mia informs Hank she went all the way to the old man newsstand to get one. She wants to know why they still have those. Hank wants to know if she means newsstands or old men.
Mia apparently thinks they should read this review of their retarded love child (my thanks to Hanks in advance, this time, and I'm the one using the r-word, this time, not Mia or Hank, btw) together. Hank doesn't want to hear it. Mia persists. Of course he wants to hear it. When's the last time he had anything published? Okay, she has him there.
Leave it to me to notice that every time they showed Hank and Mia from the right side, Hank appears pretty much uncovered, but when they switch to Mia's view of Hank, standing over him in the bed, his lower half is covered up with the lavender-colored sheet. No fair. :pouting: Like I said, only I would notice, or at least, only I would care. But I just noticed and found it kind of ...sad or something. ;-P
She proceeds with reading the review, starting out with how Mia Cross has everything a girl her age could want... Hank interrupts her, he seriously doesn't want to hear this. Hank wants to know what Mia's doing there, anyway? Didn't Lew give her The Speech? The one about how special she is and that they'll always be friends, but...? I have to interject that when she said that line about The Speech, I flashed on Alicia Silverstone, for some reason. I never thought they were anything alike before, Madeline and Alicia, but they actually do remind me of each other, and act somewhat alike, occasionally. Sorry. One of those totally mim-o-random things. Mia admits that yeah, Lew gave her The Speech, and she pretended to be sad, so now he's going to let her have her book party there later.
Back to the review in her hand, Mia gets all excited, "Oh my God! Oh my God!" she shrieks as she jumps to her feet and starts bouncing around. She informs us that the review goes on to say that Mia writes like a much older, self-assured writer. In the opinion of the reviewer, in the end, the book isn't about sex, but about loneliness. It's hauntingly, hopelessly romantic, in the best way possible, says the reviewer, which leads to Mia jumping up and down on the bed, yippee! style. That's great, right?! An unbelieving Hank grabs the paper from Mia to read it for himself, while she continues bouncing on the bed. Big dog-shit-eating grin grows on his face.
"Well, I'll be dipped in dog shit," is worth repeating as a quote from Hank, this time.
Cue the opening credits.
We return to see Hank and Charlie sitting in the back of a room full of chairs set up for the audience which has apparently already dispersed, after the reading, I would assume. Actually, first, we see several young ladies getting their "Fucking and Punching" copies signed by the fake author at the front of the room, her agent, Dani, fucking with and punching her Blackberry or whatever, as she watches over Mia and the proceedings. We pan past them and see Hank and Charlie, last row. Typical for Hank at such gatherings, I'll have to assume from his similar seating at Bill and Karen's Bogus Wedding.
We move in close, as Charlie's telling Hank the review we heard part of earlier may be the best Hank's ever gotten. Hank tells Charlie he's not helping. He's making Hank hurt all over, I can tell. Charlie wants to know what he's supposed to do, have one laminated for Hank to keep in his wallet? Cruel much?
Hank deflects and asks Charlie if he's seen his former assistant, meaning Dani, who's still hovering around the fake author's signing table. Charlie's not impressed. Yeah, fuck her, Charlie whines. He tells Hank that not all women are like Dani, walking all over men to get what they want. Well, yeah, sure they will if you LET THEM, and vice-versa, Charles in Charge. Hank asks to be reminded if that's one of the things Charlie and Dani did together. Charlie ignores the snark and brings up Daisy, for example. Hank's all 'not this Daisy shit again!' Charlie claims Daisy reminds him of everything that's good and simple about life. Hank reminds Charlie that Daisy's not returning Charlie's calls, "shit for brains."
Oh but that's because she has too much integrity, don't ya know. Daisy knows Marcy's home and thinks Charlie and Daisy need a cooling off period. Hank remarks how integrity is a wonderful quality in a mistress. Charlie objects to Hank's Daisy bashing and Hank wants to know if he's not supposed to talk bad about Daisy because they'll be sitting down to Seder with her next year? Charlie seems to indicate it's possible.
Hank tells Charlie, not on Hank's watch, that Charlie absolutely cannot abandon a woman who stood by him through thick and thin for 20 years, the minute she gets out of rehab! Charlie says, no, you wait 90 days. He looked it up and that's the proper thing to do, before you file for divorce, I assume he means. Hank appears disgusted with Charlie's foolish persistence about being with Daisy.
But okay, if Charlie and Marcy have been married for 20 years and Hank and Karen have only known each other for 14, how did they give Charlie and Marcy a ceramic bowl as a wedding present? Remember when I mentioned that cryptically back in eppie 9? So I'm guessing maybe Charlie and the Marce lived together for a while, before they actually married, but then married after they'd met Hank and Karen as a couple. Charlie and Marcy may have known Hank forever, but for Karen to have been involved in making and giving wedding gifts to the Runkles, one would have to assume the Runkles have been married for less than 14 years, not 20. Or maybe it was a very belated wedding gift. Karen felt bad that she wasn't around to give them a wedding gift, so she made them one, years after the fact. Either way, I found myself doing the math and without some fancy algebra involved, 2 + 2 did not equal 4.
Karen and Marcy approach about this time, and Hank calls her, "*The* Marce!" which I loved. Marcy says Lew's house looks much less ominous in the light of day, and I have to agree. Karen plops down close to Hank and he asks her what she thought of the reading. She could not be more surprised. Marcy pipes in that wow, who knew the little vixen could write?
Hank asks Karen what she liked about the book, just its basic goodness, the story, and she says she still hasn't read it all. So it was just good not excellent? Karen's puzzled by Hank's questioning, knows something's up, I can tell, but before she can get too deep, Hank smiles at her as Becca and Damien walk in and distracts her away from wondering what all the weird dialogue, Hank's seemingly intense and oddly familiar interest in Karen's opinion of the book is about.
In case you don't remember from season one, Hank claimed he didn't know if anything he'd written was excellent or pure horseshit, until Karen read it for him and told him. Karen was his very favorite and most trusted reviewer, before they split up the first time, and he was perilously close to dancing that same dance with her, only over a book she's supposed to assume Hank didn't write. Yet, he approached the subject as if he had, and I think Karen was just about to catch on.
Which leads me back to that series-old complaint of mine about Hank never having told Karen about Mia, to this day. He goes off to NYC and writes a book about it instead, and *begged* Karen to read it. I still have no idea why he did that, unless it was Hank's way of telling Karen something he couldn't tell her to her face. Or was it? Was he going to write down his confession, but put enough fictional spin on it that he'd just hope beyond hope that Karen would never recognize the characters in the book as Hank and Mia? Was he going to harp on the fact that it was a work of fiction and expect her to fall for it? Or was he trying to tell her, without really telling her, hoping she'd figure it out and forgive him before she ever confronted him about it?
Why else would he write such a piece, if it wasn't intended as a confessional? The whole book thing has never made sense to me, the subject matter, unless Hank planned to use it as his confession to Karen, thinking it would go down easier than him just admitting he bonked Mia without carding her first, and trying to explain how it happened and how it never happened again, and how much regret he felt that he let it happen by way of his "novel."
But the book got stolen, made into blackmail material as Mia's "memoir," even more damning for Hank than his work of "fiction," when if Hank would just TELL Karen what happened, sure, she'd be angry, but knowing Mia as well as she does by now, wouldn't she tend to believe Hank ...that it was just another one of his stupid impulsive mistakes? That Mia's the type to create that kind of havoc, that Hank actually wrote the book and Mia stole it from him, using his sexual indiscretion to blackmail him into letting her?
Karen seems at least that in tune with humanity, but maybe not. She knows Mia's a lonely young woman, that Karen was the closest thing Mia had to a parent, when Karen lived with Bill, and for Karen to have no clue how conniving and even vicious Mia can be just doesn't make any sense. But Karen was always very complimentary of Mia, even when she shouldn't have been, and can also seem completely clueless about people who play nice on the outside, I suppose. Especially other women. She sees right through the men, even past them, giving them flaws they don't really have even, sometimes, but the girls can do no wrong. Kind of myopic when it comes to the genders, perhaps.
Nevertheless, the book copy Charlie read initially was Mia's book with her 'revisions', and he still knew it was Hank's writing before he finished the first paragraph, and if there's anybody else in the world who'd recognize Hank, it would have to be Karen. I suppose it's just one of those fears Hank can't face, too many potential consequences, most all of them bad ones, and at least if it was in book form, and Karen flipped out over it, he always had the option of lying and claiming it was pure fiction. If he's ever forced to confess, he won't have that wriggle room. I still wish he'd just tell her. Occurs to me that it would solve a lot more problems than it would cause, but maybe that's just me.
Back to our story, Becca wants to ask Hank a question. Mom says she and Damien are too young to stay for the party, and Karen reaffirms that. What does Hank think? Ah, one of those kid grenades, where they play the parents off each other, trying to find the higher authority figure, hoping for a more satisfying response to their request. Damien says he really wants to meet Lew Ashby. Hank advises Damien not to give Lew a demo. Becca first asks Karen 'where's the trust?' she's supposed to have for her daughter, begs Karen to let them live a little, and then says there's a rumor that Roger Daltrey might show up. Karen caves and says they can stay, but only for a little while. The two victorious teenagers head out to look for trouble elsewhere. Hank tells Karen hers was an excellent decision, solid parenting.
Charlie Runkle is officially a bastard. Of the two people in this episode that are supposed to be Hank's friends, Lew and Charlie, I like Charlie less with every scene he appears in and Lew more. I think the wrong person ODs at the end. ;-P I'm kidding. But boy, Charlie makes me SOOO angry in every scene he's in, in this episode, continuing with this one. He shows up with a couple of drinks, giving Marcy her club soda with a twist, asking with a jaunty-taunty air about him, if alcohol's still okay for him. What a putz. Like a child; 'I get to drink alcohol and you don't! Neh-neh-ne-ne-neh!'
Marcy has a great comeback, as usual, and tells him people who live in fear need to be chemically altered. Charlie, grabbing appetizers by the handful from a serving tray, asks what it is he's afraid of, if that's true, and Marcy says she doesn't know, but that he's eating like the stress eater that Mama Runkle raised him to be. He drops the food back on the tray, after he's handled it! Yick.
Marcy sees Dani, and tells Charlie Dani's on her list ...of people she needs to apologize to, is what I gather. Charlie's insists she's not going to talk to Dani, much less apologize to her. Marcy tells him he has no right to tell her who she can talk or apologize to, but Charlie gets really pushy and says no fucking way do they "as a family" apologize to Dani, because she's where all their problems started. Dani started it, she was the outbreak monkey.
PLEASE! I remember way back in season one, Fear and Loathing at the Fundraiser, when Hank caught Charlie and Dani in Charlie's office, taking pictures and about to get it on. Charlie started that whining about how 'Dani started it! Waa!' and Hank shot that foolishness down with a killer look, and Charlie seemed to realize it was just as much his doing as it was Dani's, at Hank's prodding.
But he's apparently back to blaming everyone but himself for his own indiscretions, and I'm still sorry Marcy didn't call him on it, blaming Dani unduly for his own actions. But maybe it was because under the pretense of following the girl with the spicy shrimp rolls, he leads Marcy right into the room where people are laying out lines of their favorite snorting powders, instead, and Lew's bitching for them all to take it upstairs. There's children in the house, for fuck's sake, he tells them. Go, Lew.
But does it occur to anyone else that Charlie was hoping maybe Marcy will relapse, and he took every opportunity to tempt her into falling off the wagon? I think Charlie would've liked that a lot. First teasing her about not drinking alcohol, and then when an uncomfortable discussion arises, leading Marcy into the distraction of all the tempting party favors laid out on the table across the room. I think Charlie did it deliberately to distract her from her apology mission, and talking to Dani, and best case scenario, tempt Marce into a relapse. Yeah, I'm kinda hatin' on Charlie in this episode and the conspiracy fits my current mindset about him. Bastard.
He asks Lew if that's cocaine, like he wouldn't know. Not only is Charlie a bastard, but he's gone completely stupid in this episode. I wanted to slap him every time he opened his mouth! Argh. Like Charlie's never seen or done any coke?! Anyway, Lew says it's coke or meth, and another package is heroin, he thinks, claiming some people have some serious problems, as he sticks both packages in his jacket pocket.
Charlie relays to Lew that he just re-mortgaged their house to send Marcy to "Passages" he says this time, and from what I know of the commercials on TV about the book from the guy who runs the place lately, that one's in Malibu. Lew tells Charlie to let Lew know next time. He knows people and can arrange for a discount for Charlie. "Next time?" Charlie asks, not at all like a man who's already sent his wife to rehab twice now. There's always a next time, Lew says.
Lew approaches Marcy, telling the baby girl to keep working those steps, and tells her that David Crosby says a little pot isn't cheating. Marcy repeats, "I deeply and profoundly love myself," several times under her breath, her club soda pressed to her temple.
Here comes Hank down the hall towards us, and when he comes around the corner, Mia's there to stop him. Annika Staley from Rolling Stone's there, and Mia thinks Hank needs to know. Hank gives Annika a big hug, as Lew and Mia look on. Hank asks Annika quietly how her toe cramps are. Mia says Annika's been sharing a little theory she has about Mia's book, and Annika says, yeah, the book has Hank's fingerprints all over it. Hank's like, oh, like his stylistic fingerprints? Well no, Mia's style is more fluid than Hank's, but she means the guy in the book. That's Hank, right? The guy has all Hank's tics, his sense of humor.
Um ...well, Hank sees no reason why they should assume that and mentions how nowadays, people write fiction and call it a memoir, because nobody gives a shit about fiction anymore. He finds that fascinating. Annika thinks it's totally boring, but as for the older man who seduces a teenager, not knowing she's underage element of the memoir? Now, that's such a sizzler of a story and has to be Hanky Panky, as she knows it. It's a memoir, after all, so Hank and Mia had to have some kind of relationship, right?
Mia has nothing to say, Hank has no idea what to say. Lew catches on to the potential disaster at work and tells Annika she's been working too hard tonight and he thinks they should go meet Zakk Wylde. Annika wants to know who Zakk Wylde is and Lew tells Mia and Hank he'll have to excuse them while he throws Annika out of his party. Off they go.
Hank pulls chuckling Mia aside. She thinks this is funny?! So Annika writes a little blurb about Hank and Mia, it's not like they're going to send Hank to France to live with Roman Polanski. It'll just be one of those metaphorical 'guess which washed-up writer' things, Mia says, bringing to mind that 'blind item' mentality I've come to detest even more over the last few months, ahem. Sorry, but it crossed my mind and stung a little.
Hank tells Mia he doesn't think Karen will ever quite see it that way, and Mia claims Karen will get over it ...eventually, something else Mia finds amusing, but Hank doesn't. Besides, it'll be great publicity for Hank's book about Lew Ashby! Hank informs Mia that not everybody who picks up a pen sweats blood for publicity and that Mia needs to disabuse Annika of this idea she has about Hank as the guy in the book.
Mia tells Hank that Annika will believe what she believes, and it's Hank's fault for giving Annika such a mind-blowing orgasm, anyway. So that's what this is about, Hank asks? Annika's seeking revenge because Hank never called her, there was no repeat performance, poor dear? No! Mia says the fucking in real life was too much like the fucking in the book, minus the punching, and Mia suggests Hank might want to get himself some new moves. A young metrosexual walks by and Mia excuses herself to Hank to go join her party, cluing Hank she thinks she may be over her thing for older men. Good riddance. She flits away and Hank looks perplexed and worried.
Marcy and Karen are strolling along, arm in arm, Marcy telling Karen that since she started meditating, she's so much more in tune to the feelings of people around her. Karen's rolling her eyes, wants to laugh, but eventually tells Marcy that's great, it's progress. Marcy asks Karen if Hank's said anything about Charlie getting into any weird shit while Marcy was in rehab. Karen says no and wants to know why she's asking. Marcy says Charlie's acting weird, he's stress eating and he's not constantly pawing at or pressuring her for sex, which Karen seems to think is a good thing. Marcy says he seems restless. Karen asks, well what about Marcy, like, is she maybe feeling restless, too?
Marcy says she has inner peace, knows what's important, and that by being loyal and faithful to Charlie, that draws the same loyalty and faithfulness back into her life. Karen likes the attitude and wants a high five, which Marcy gives her. They start on down the path, but they see Lew talking to Annika, and Karen wants to change directions. Marcy thinks there must be drugs down there, insists she can handle it, but Karen says, no, it's just Lew and she doesn't want to fan the flames. What?! Lew burns for Karen, Marcy asks. And wow, she missed a lot while she was gone! Karen says Lew's not exactly burning for her, but he's like a toddler who sees something shiny and he wants it. Marcy strokes Karen's face and tells her, well, of course, he does; Karen *is* shiny.
About that time Karen thinks she sees Damien kissing on Becca. She wants Marcy to see! She was trying to let the kids have some space, and look! Isn't that sweet?! No, not so sweet, Marcy says, and points out the real Becca approaching Damien and some strange girl kissing him while Becca looks on, then takes off in the opposite direction. Karen hands Marcy her drink and takes off after Becca. Marcy repeats, "I'm the best me I can possibly be," confidently a few times, then dumps the drink on the ground next to her. She rocks.
There's Charlie and Hank, sitting in Lew's control room, watching the party go outside the doors. Charlie's all out of answers, he says. Maybe Marcy's right, that they should all surrender to a higher power, just be clear and let go. "Fuck that!" Hank counters. Charlie sounds just like Julian. So maybe Julian's right, Charlie says, he gets more pussy than either one of them. Oh yeah, so who's Charlie fucking besides his wife and a porn star? About that time, Dani appears and asks if they mind if she joins them. Hank says no and Charlie says yes. Hank tells her to pull up a chair, mentioning how she always had a unique ability to talk sense into Charlie. Oh? And what compromising position has Charlie gotten himself into this time?
Hank dives in to explain that Charlie's foray into porn making apparently wasn't enough. Now he thinks he needs to marry the porn star, save her from her road to ruin, which prompts Hank to mention that Charlie's apparently never seen "Star 80". Dani asks, "What about Marcy?" and Hank asks Charlie the same question maybe three times before Charlie can respond. Charlie gets fed up and suggests the two people in the conversation who've never been married shut the fuck up and not pass judgment on the one who has.
Dani shoots back that maybe Marcy's not the problem, TOUCHÉ, to which Charlie responds he never said she was. Hank pipes in that Charlie's complained to him about his coke-addicted wife on several occasions and Charlie has no verbal response to the claim. Dani says it seems to her, Charlie's gone around and around for nine months and ended up right back where he started; enthralled with a much younger woman, someone with whom he feels totally in control, "a master of the universe, if you will," she tells Hank. Or in Charlie's case, "a masturbator of the universe, if *you* will," Hank snarks. Charlie doesn't think that's funny. He fakes laughter. Dani decides Charlie was just born to dominate, something Hank doesn't seem to agree with, but Dani says Charlie should embrace it, be who he is, let his freak flag fly. Hank says, "Interesting."
Karen's trying to get Becca to come out of the locked bathroom, with no luck. Lew sees the line to the bathroom, I guess, and says there better not be somebody in there doing coke, just as he notices Karen at the door, and apologizes. She tells him Becca's in there and he wants to know if she's okay. Karen tells Lew that Becca caught that asshole boyfriend of hers making out with another girl, and coincidentally, we catch Karen sounding very British. Trust me, I think Natascha generally does an excellent job with her American accent, 99% of the time, but when she said 'hers' and 'girl'? Very British-y.
Anyway, Lew knocks on the door and tells Becca it's him. Karen's like, well gee, that's just gonna solve everything, huff. Then Lew tells Becca he knows everything feels shitty right now ...looks back at Karen apologetically and corrects that to crappy, but that if she'll let her mom in the bathroom, he'll get Becca backstage at the Slipknot show at the Forum in a couple of weeks, guaranteed. Karen grabs Lew's arm to drag him away from the door, explaining that she appreciates his efforts, but no way can he bribe her daughter, just as Becca opens the door and says Lew can come in. Karen can't.
Face-to-face with Lew, Becca tells him it's come to her attention that men can't be trusted. Lew says truer words were never spoken. So how does Becca know Lew will follow through on his extravagant promise? Can he provide any assurances? Does Becca have any assurance for Lew that she'll let her mother in the bathroom? No. So, Lew says, he guesses they'll just have to trust each other. He offers his left hand to shake on it and Becca accepts.
She sits down, still obviously completely bummed out. Lew sits down next to her and tells her it'll be 15 years before that kid knows what he's missing, and he's missing a lot, because Becca's "fucking magic." She almost smiles. Lew offers that if that's too long to wait for atonement, he can have Lemmy from Motorhead slice off Damien's cheeks with a straight razor, instead, and tells her the choice is hers. 'Phfft, Phfft.' She smiles more genuinely, almost giggles, in fact. He asks, 'Good?' and Becca nods. Lew puts his arm around her and says, "Shake it off, princess." Becca smiles again, he nods, she nods back, and he exits the bathroom, telling Karen that Becca's all hers. Karen looks astonished, but thanks him, he says she's welcome.
Karen comes in and asks what Lew said. Becca says she'll never tell. Karen sits down and offers the cradling warmth of mom's arms, and Becca accepts. She sits back up and tells Karen in a broken voice that she assumes she's the biggest loser of all time. Not. Even. Close, mom says. Trusting someone does not make Becca a loser. She took a leap of faith. Yeah, into a brick wall, Becca mourns. That's why it hurts so much, Karen responds, and further assesses that all she can do is just let it hurt. Becca does. She gets all teary again and needs another hug from mom. Sniff.
Next we have one of those hilariously heartbreaking scenes, where the shit hits the fan, but Hank's not the one slinging it into the fan, on this occasion. He's there to witness the whole thing, even tries his best to prevent it, to no avail.
Charlie and Hank have rejoined the party, mingling with the crowd and grabbing drinks from the ever-present waiters in abundance, when Marcy approaches. Look who she found! It's Daisy, wee! Marcy gets a nice shoulder hug and a smooch on the cheek from Hank to which she responds with, "hi, baby," and I think she meant Hank. Maybe not, but she chimes in to say that see there? Everybody really does come to Lew Ashby's! Charlie's surprised to see Daisy. Hank's introduced to Daisy for the first time since she entered the Runkle picture (and the season), and Hank jumps in immediately to offer to take Daisy on a tour of the house, hoping to avoid what he seems to already know is coming if Daisy hangs out too long with Charlie and Marcy. Marcy objects. She just found Daisy and no way is Hank squirreling her away right now.
Marcy takes both Daisy's hands and ask what the haps have been. Daisy turns instantly awkward, and claims 'oh ...nothing much... same ol' same ol'...' making it painfully obvious she's painfully guilty. Hank understands her discomfort and tries squirreling Daisy away again. 'The tour bus is leaving in 30 seconds!' he announces. He claims he's not a big fan of porn, which draws an evil eye and a mischievous smile from Marcy, so he admits that maybe he was in his formative years.
Stupid Charlie butts in to ask Daisy if she's all alone, and Marcy informs him Daisy came with Ronny Praeger, the Vaginatown producer. Marcy starts yelling for Ronny, while Charlie acts obviously astonished and unhappy about Daisy running around with Ronny. Daisy tries explaining that she isn't actually on a date with Ronny, but he was coming to the party and she'd always heard about Lew's famous parties and just thought she'd tag along, like it's any of Charlie's business in the first place.
Ronny appears, putting one arm around Daisy and the other around Marcy. Hank is finally introduced to Ronny as the talented auteur of Vaginatown. Hank asks what's next for the brilliant porn auteur, 'A Cock-Work Orange' or maybe, '2069: A Sit-On-My-Face Odyssey'? Ronny thinks those have definite potential, but he says he and Daisy have already discussed it and they've decided on 'Network' for their next project. Hank remains enthusiastic.
Charlie can't keep his stupid mouth shut and asks Ronny if he's not heard that Daisy's not doing porn anymore. Marcy asks Daisy if that's true. Charlie interjects, 'Daisy over here, porn over there.' Daisy admits she's given it some thought. Marcy wants to know what idiot agent gave her that advice. Hank's like, yeah, terrible advice! Ronny agrees, says no way do you want to waste prime USDA Choice beef like Daisy's, slapping her on the ass to make his point. Sure, Daisy jumps a little, and sure, Charlie flips out and nothing Hank can do or say is going to stop him from breaking Marcy's heart and ruining his own life.
Charlie tells Ronny to back off, that Daisy is NOT doing anymore porn, then objects to Ronny manhandling Daisy, telling Ronny he should keep his paws off her and give her some space. Marcy wants to know why Charlie cares where Ronny puts his paws, and he says he just doesn't think Daisy should be handled like that against her will. Daisy tells him it's fine. Charlie proceeds to make a total prick fool out of himself. It's fine?! Fine that Ronnie touches Daisy, fine that she's out on a date with him, fine that he's planning the rest of her life for her?! 'What about us?' he asks Daisy with Marcy and God and everybody watching. Oh dear.
Marce is like, WTF?! Excuse me?! Charlie tries a bit of backtracking, claiming he meant professionally. Hank tells Charlie he looks like he could use a refill. Daisy decides it's time she moves on, but oh no, no, no! Marcy insists nobody's going anywhere until the skinny little porno ho explains what Charlie meant. Daisy's like, "Charlie..." through her teeth, and Charlie barfs it up. Tells Marcy that, basically, he can't pretend anymore, that life with her is just too fucked up to bother with anymore, too much work, and he wants a divorce and he wants to be with Daisy. There, he said it out loud. Can't take it back! He's so proud of himself. Prick. Hank gives him a big shove. Go, Hank!
Marcy turns to Daisy and says, "You fucked my man," and gives her a hard shove backwards, she bashes into some chick behind her, who loses her drink, and before you can bat an eyelash, BIG catfight breaks out. All the chicks start swinging and pushing and pulling hair, maybe 10 or more of them, from the looks of things. Hank dives in to stop them, but Lew appears and grabs Hank, tells him he can't get in the middle of a girl fight! He might hit one of them accidentally!
Hank spits, "You just had to go there, didn't ya?!" at Charlie, before he beats a quick path to Lew's shotgun. Lew follows and Hank offers Lew the gun, but he offers the honor to Hank. Hank fires both barrels into the foyer ceiling, which of course, brings all activity in the house to a screeching halt. It's an incredibly loud gun. Works like a charm, but I have to wonder if Lew's ever killed or maimed anybody on the second floor that way. Anyways, dead silence from the crowd. The canon-gun does get one's attention. Hank uses this golden opportunity to reprise the Strother Martin (Captain) line from Cool Hand Luke; "What we have here is a failure to communicate," no southern spin to it a-tall, like in the movie. But it was still funny. Hank could use some twang lessons, and I'm here to offer my services, by the way. You can call me 24 hours a day at 555- ...
In the ensuing silence, Hank hears the ceiling creaking above his head, looks up and rushes to push Lew out of the way, just as the huge iron chandelier comes crashing to the floor and everyone within eyesight screams and crouches. Saved by the Hank again!
Now we see everybody streaming out of the party and down the steps outside, and cut back inside to the chandelier lying crumbled on the floor and Lew and Hank sitting on the stairs. Lew mourns that Errol Flynn used to swing from that thing, meaning the dead chandelier. Hank's like, what? No props for saving Lew's life? Annika comes tripping down the stairs, passes between them, and heads for the door. Lew asks if she's leaving, offers that the night is still young. She smiles, tells him they'll talk, and prisses on out the door, waving good-bye backwards over her head. Hank tells her goodbye. Then, he tells Lew he used to know her and asks what Lew did to her.
Lew tells Hank he doesn't want to go into great detail, but that he fixed that little problem Hank had earlier. Lew just fixed it, Hank asks skeptically. Yep. He told Annika that he was the sexy older man Mia was fucking, the guy in the book. Hank complains that Lew hasn't even read the book. Hank thinks Lew's a functional illiterate, right? Hank affirms the notion. Lew says he read the little fucker and tells Hank it's not Hank's best work. It's not his best work?! Lew mentions girls talk a lot after sex, and I presume he meant Mia told Lew all about stealing Hank's book. And no, it's not Hank's best, but it's his first in a while, and he'll do better on the next one. Lew says you gotta squeeze one out of the chamber to let the good stuff come through and does that little thing where he taps his chest and makes that squirting sound.
Hank laughs first, but thanks Lew next, for the compliment, and for getting him out of Mia trouble. Lew says no problem and besides, no offense to Hank, but Lew makes a much bigger story. Crazy record producer lives all alone in a big house with a taste for underage girls! A story that writes itself. But it's not the true story, Hank insists. Lew counters that it's a version of the truth, the extended dance mix.
Karen walks in about this time, and both the gentlemen rise to greet her. She tells Hank that they got everything all worked out and Marcy's coming back with them and Karen's' going to lock up all the liquor. Hank starts to tell her where he's stashed a bottle, but she claims to know where he stashes all his bottles. Damn it, Hank pouts. Me, I'm wondering how Damien got home. I kinda doubt Becca wanted him anywhere within a hundred yards of her, so I'm guessing he had to hitch a ride from somebody else. Still, I wondered, since he was Karen's responsibility.
Anyway, Karen tells Lew it was a truly disastrous party, he agrees and thanks her. Then she tells him that she, however, has underestimated him. In the heat of battle, he shone through, revealed his true colours. Yeah, deliberately misspelled the British way, because it came out with a little English on it again. ;-P But touché to Karen, anyway. I was completely in love with Mr. Ashby by this time, myself. Lew's like, wow, high praise. He should probably leave on that note, and he leans forward to grasp Karen's arm and intends to kiss her, but Hank whistle-stops them and puts a hand up between them. They both laugh and Lew says he'll see her, and dashes up the stairs. Wishful thinking, sigh.
Hank wants to know what the high praise was all about, and Karen repeats Becca's, "I'll never tell." Hank's all bummed about 'more secrets' but Karen claims that yeah, it's such an effort to maintain that mystery every woman needs. Hank says it's no effort. Hank gets his smooch on the cheek in, leans into her for a cuddle and Karen gives him a one-armed hug, then wishes him goodnight. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and watches her go.
Maybe it's just me, but I had to wonder if there was something symbolic about watching Karen and Janie pass each other on the stairs the way they did, Karen going down the steps, Janie coming up them. With what I know about the rest of the season and how it ends, it made me kind of oddly uncomfortable, that little passing of Hank torches, one going up, the other going down. But that's just me being all mental. Just ignore me.
Hank watches Karen descend the steps with a nice smile, but soon notices Janie coming toward him. She thought she'd be fashionably late, she says, as she sashays toward Hank. Hank can't believe she came! Well, she was invited, wasn't she? Yeah, but he never thought she'd actually show. He tells her to wait, that Lew's three feet away, and he starts away. But Janie stops him. Lew? What if she didn't come to see Lew? Then she's not making any sense, according to Moody. Ah but, Hank's really stirred something up in her, she believes. KNOW the feeling, my cat sister. Hank's not buying it, says it's ah memories, misty water-colored ones.
He tells her to look around; all this, everything, the house, the parties, everything, it's all for her. She looks around, but says, she already has a house. Hank says it's a totally soulless one. This house has character, because it's old and broken because real shit happens here, he tells Janie as he escorts her into the foyer. She sees the dead chandelier and thinks it looks like some real shit happened here. Hank says, eh, things break, they fall apart, that's life. So life is meant to be haunted and sad and broken, Janie asks Hank. Yes. She's not buying it. This house looks awful, like somebody died here. Hank prophetically states that someone almost did, but not tonight, then insists she stay put while he goes to fetch Lew. He flies up the stairs calling for Lew. Janie looks really anxiety-ridden.
We see Lew surrounded by drug-loving females. One of them pulls one of those little plastic baggies out of Lew's jacket, waving it at him. Oh yeah, he forgot about that. He leans over and dumps the contents on top of a box on the bed, just about the time Hank comes barging in and orders all the women from the room. Lew tells them not to leave, but Hank insists and they obey. I would, too. Hank finally informs Lew that Janie's downstairs waiting for him and Lew's like no way! Yes way. Nah, no way is Lew going down there, and he tells Hank to go talk to her. Hank asks if this is like fifth grade or something.
Lew says he absolutely cannot face her after all these years and all the shit he did to her. Hank tells him that from what he knows, Janie doesn't think he's such a bad boy. He loves music a little too much, blah, blah, blah. Well, that has to be a lie, because Lew fucked around on her constantly, he drove a car into her house, he even made her get an abortion once. He made her, Hank questions. Well, he didn't do it himself, but he was fucking another girl while Janie was pregnant. Hank assumes Lew didn't know Janie was pregnant, right, but oh no, Lew knew. I guess because Janie knew Lew would never be there for her or the kid, and he proved it everyday by messing around with the other women, she aborted it. Ouch. Lew explains it by saying he was just scared shitless. Mmm, kind of like now, Hank asserts and Lew affirms.
Hank tells Ratso Rizzo to sit down, he's making Hank nervous. They sit down and Hank insists Lew listen to him, because he's only going to say this once. He tells Lew that no matter what he did, not to give up. Do not give up. 'Because if she loves you, she’ll forgive you.' Hank really believes that, Lew wants to know. Hank has to, he says. There's no point, otherwise. There is no life without Love, or not one worth having anyway. Another moment's thought, and Lew decides Hank's right. He's going to do this. He'll suck at it, but he's going to do it. He stands up, Hank applauds, and Lew asks Hank how he looks. Like a big douchebag, but a sexy one.
Lew wants to put on his jacket. Hank fixes Lew's hair, awww. They get maybe three steps before Lew decides he need a snort before he faces Janie. Hank complains, but not hard enough, and Lew kneels down and takes two big snorts, one for each nostril. Big smile on his face. He stands up, Hank wraps an arm around his shoulder and Lew's ready to go.
Only ...excuse me while I swallow this big lump forming in my throat. ... ... ... Okay, Lew pulls up, sniffs and grabs his nose. Hank wants to know what's wrong. Lew takes his hand away and it's covered with blood. In the blink of an eye, he crumples to his knees and collapses to the floor, obviously seizing something awful. Hank begins digging for the epi-pen, finds it and jams it in Lew's leg, assuming it's going to make everything all better. But it doesn't. Lew stops moving. Hank's yelling at him and feeling his jugular as we fade to black. And I fade into a big puddle of sorrow. The purist of anguish befalls thee.
I hate, hate, HATE Lew when he's dead. Alive and kicking, he's one of my favorite-ever scoundrel-to-shiny-good-guy characters, but dead? I despise him dead. But ya know, thinking about it rationally, something you realize isn't easy for me, it would seem people often check out at the worst possible time, usually when they've reached their life's nirvana; they're at their peak, the best they can be and life is grand beyond measure, couldn't be better, the potential for good is immeasurable. Then, oops. Forgot all about that fragility of life thing.
But seriously, doesn't it seem like to you that a lot of people die when they'd least want to? Not just in film, but as a rule. It's almost as if, you get too close to or reach perfection, you're toast. <g> Perhaps that's why life is always so far less than perfect. We get more time to try making it perfect, instead. And hey, I'm all for that. Woo-HOO.
But not Lew. Please don't take Lew away from me, sniff. I know they already have, it's a done deal, but still... They set him up to tie up so many loose ends and character flaws we thought he had before, made me love him beyond all reason, just so they could abso-fucking-lutely break my heart, I mean, big cracking sound in my chest, when it became obvious Lew was a goner, mere moments BEFORE he got what he wanted most.
All I could think about is how much easier it would've gone down for me if he'd only gotten down the stairs, maybe even got a conciliatory hug from Janie, only to collapse, with her and Hank both there to help. Maybe between them, they could've saved him, ya know? Janie probably had lots of experience with people OD-ing on drugs and may known what to do, in Lew's special case. She'd lived with him a long time. But oh well, that's how the storyline crumbles, I suppose. I have to assume there was a good reason they needed to off Lew, and I'll have to accept it.
I promise, the first time I saw it, I was practically hysterical. No, no, no, please, NO, not Lew! You can't kill Lew! Not now! Not this way! Waaa! I didn't have the big honking clues to the outcome most people had before his demise was revealed weeks before the file made it online. Came as a complete shock to me. Until the moment he stopped for a snort, I was thinking, oh my God, they'll get downstairs and Janie will have run off like a scalded cat! Hurry up, you guys!
It was taking them much too long to convince Lew, and I just figured that's how it would end; they'd come down the stairs and find the foyer empty of Janie's presence. At the time, I figured that would be the worst thing that could happen to Lew, and Hank would be so disappointed, too. But Lew stopped for that snort, and it hit me like an overdose of cocaine (or meth), oh my God, he's going to OD! NOOOooo!
For the record, I do believe the substance was either cocaine or meth. Heroin isn't generally snow-white, like coke and I believe meth is. But if you'll notice when Lew grabbed the packages off the dining room table, the ones he named as coke or meth and heroin, earlier in the ep, one of the powders is a beige-ish color, and the other is white, and the darker one is typically heroin-colored. What Lew poured onto the box looked very white, so I'm thinking is was one of the two uppers, rather than the downer drug.
Also, heroin slows the heart rate, cocaine and meth both increase it significantly, which is how people OD on either, most times. The heart beats so fast that it eventually gives out, comes to a screeching halt, worst case scenario. Upper kind of drugs in overabundance can also arrest respiratory functions, from what I remember reading, and it appeared to me one or the other is what happened to Lew; either his heart stopped or his lungs did, or both; one because of the other.
I'm thinking if he'd OD'd on heroin, he probably would've passed out, slipped quickly into unconsciousness and died, more like going to sleep and not waking up. An overdose on an upper drug would be more dramatic and painful, like what we saw Lew experience. I've wondered if maybe he didn't accidentally grab the meth, and what was a typical hit of cocaine for him (and he snorted a LOT, I noticed), was a deadly one of meth. At least with an epi added to the mix, ahem.
Maybe meth is much more potent than coke or Lew was allergic to one of the ingredients used to make meth, causing his airway to swell, an allergic reaction. My guess is that his heart rate sped to unbearable levels, though, because if he had an airway closing, due to allergic reaction, the epi would've helped some. This also means that the epi Hank gave Lew possibly just made things worse, perhaps even facilitated Lew's death, but only if the OD wasn't going to kill him anyway, which is possible. But no matter. All that really matters is that they offed my next-to-next-to favorite character on the show, and I'm still stinging from it. Argh.
This led me to thinking that if they wanted CKR back on the show, like I do, he could turn up as Lew's long lost [twin] brother, Stew (or Drew or Dew or Boo or...), who wants Hank's balls for killing Lew; wants Hank arrested or sued frivolously for his unwitting, well-intentioned part in Lew's demise. Or maybe ...something Hank says in the book really pisses off Lew's [twin] brother, and he comes after Hank with vengeance on his mind. Eh? 'Course, either way, Hank would win the guy over, eventually, just like Lew, and it'd end up another bromantic interlude, one we'd hope The Creators wouldn't ruin with death, next time. Can you tell I'm desperate and in denial? Seriously, I miss Lew already and a whole lot. Bring back CKR! Let's start a petition! ;-P
Actually, I think there are all kinds of ways they could get Lew back onto the show, through flashbacks. There's so much we didn't see go on between Lew and Hank. We missed Lew's funeral, too, for another example. We didn't get to see Janie's reaction or anyone else's. I have to assume the next episode starts quite a bit beyond all that, given where everyone seems to be by the next episode.
But I still think there are just tons of ways they could figure out for giving CKR some more screen time in the future, and I hope they do it. He's like a chameleon man anyway, looks different somehow in every role, near-unrecognizable at times, so I don't think it would be that big a problem to have him come back as one of Lew's relatives, with some altering of his appearance. I miss him already, and I'll always hope we get to see him again, even if he has to visit Hank as a ghostly Lew again or something, so I'm begging The Creators to utilize any and all probabilities for getting CKR back onto the show sometime. Please?
All-in-all, another engaging, but utterly heartbreaking installment in our series. I loved it, pain and all. Lew, I'll never forget you, buddy. You really came through for everyone who needed you, in the end, and it's a damn shame they killed you in your finest hour/half-hour. Shame on them. ;-P They, at least, gave you a fabulous, redeeming sendoff. But dat's life, though, I suppose. Shit happens.
I'm so torn. I couldn't wait until the next episode, but it was so sad, feeling fairly certain Lew was dead before the screen faded to black, and how that would play out in the next episode. I SO didn't want to find out he was really dead. But even more than that was first thinking it might be the final, final episode. The forever torture of what could've been, sigh. Then I had to switch it, once knowing it's merely all there is for at least another nine months, I'm guessing. Same crippling woe, different time frame. One is forever, the other only nine months of torture. I should be complaining?!
No. I mentioned I'm a pig? Pigs have insatiable appetites for their favorite TV show. They could do a show a week, 52 weeks a year, and I'd be complaining because they aren't doing two a week, one every weeknight or whatever. <g> Give us an inch and we wants miles, yeah. If nothing else, I hope they would consider that a testament to what a kick-ass show they're producing, eh? But sure, it's an interesting ending for season two, the finale I've already seen at this late date, and a great lead-in for another great season ahead. Now *that*, I can't wait for! Yay!
My last review, you can wait for, sure. With any luck, I'll be back with my final chapter shortly. With my luck, however, could be a while. Still, I'm determined to end up with twelve, so ...stay tuned? Later, peeps. And thanks for reading.
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